Fuck your disability!

Since when did becoming paralyzed mean that your life was over? Sure, we may do things a little differently or require more help but I'll be damned if I let someone tell me my second chance at life should be wasted away laying in a bed. Doctors tell you from the get go that you will never live the same life, which is true in a sense. My way of not living the same life is to live a better life just modified. I refuse to live miserably at home missing out on the world around me. Shitty things happen to everyone, but it is how we handle those shitty situations that make us who we are. I spent two years of my life moping about being a quadriplegic and I refuse to ever do that again. I want to experience the good, the bad, the ugly, the love, the hurt, the fun for those who wish they had a second chance to just live. I have seen so many young amazing people die too soon, and I refuse to be dead while still living. 

People are so afraid to be hurt while living that they hold back so much. If you feel some way about someone, tell them! You may get rejected, but at least you tried. Rejection sucks, but you know what sucks more? Missing out on an amazing opportunity. If you wanna go to that party, go! If you don't have anyone to go somewhere with, go alone! You may meet some of the most amazing people. Go alone for those of us who can't! I wish I could go places alone, but I need too much help physically to do so. Since I can't go alone, I go out at every opportunity that I get. I go out because I want to have fun and experience things. It is too easy to sit at home feeling sorry for yourselves. 

Let me put this into perspective for you! I pee through a catheter. I can't even hold my own drink. I can't dress myself. I can't push myself around most places. I need help with EVERYTHING, but why am I gonna dwell on that? This is MY life! I only get one chance to be me, you only get one chance to be you! If you are unhappy with your situation, change it! You are in control of how you handle every situation life throws at you. I have been thrown one hell of an obstacle, but guess what? I grew from it! I no longer allow myself to be this wheelchair. Anybody that has met me knows I am the life of the party. I enjoy the moment because I choose to! You may see me as the girl in the wheelchair before you meet me, but after you meet me you know I am so much more than that. I am so much more because I choose to be. I will never let my disability define me. I want everyone to know I am disabled, but I am not my disability. Everyone has a form of a disability, and a bad attitude is the biggest disability out there! 

How I Gained My Wheels

I was a fourteen year old girl, finally allowed to go to her first party with her friends driving. I don't remember much of that day, but it was March 3, 2007. I spent the majority of the day on the phone with my best friend, at the time, discussing the party we would be going to that night. We were to be picked up at my house by our friend and his older friend who would be driving. Things didn't go as planned and my best friend could not go with us, so I decided I would go without her. One thing I do remember about that night, is that I told my parents I had a ride home when I really didn't. However, I was not worried at all about how I would get home. It was like I subconsciously knew I wouldn't need a ride home.

After spending hours getting ready, my friends came to pick me up. I said goodbye to my parents and got in the backseat of the car. I had only met the guy driving one time before, but my good friend was in the passenger seat. We had to stop at my friend's house to pick up his sister. His other sister did not have a ride to the party, so we decided to take everyone. There ended up being seven of us crammed into a Chevy Impala. The guy driving and my friend were still up front. In the backseat the order from left to right went two girls, me, a guy, and a girl on his lap none of us had seatbelts on. As we were headed to meet everyone else at the grocery store, I remember us girls going back and forth about how cute each other looked. That was the last thing I remember before waking up on the ground which I will get to soon.  

According to the police report and witnesses, the driver was going around 100mph on a residential street. He ran a red light and hit a huge dip in the road that caused the car to go airborne. The car hit a telephone pole so hard that the car split in half. The motor part completely separated from the car. The impact caused us four girls to fly out. Two girls landed on the grass and the girl to my left landed on the sidewalk with me on her back. I have no idea how I landed on her, but thanks to her I survived. We flew about 100ft from the car. She sadly died on impact. Out of respect for everyone involved, I will only speak about her death and my injury nobody else's. Just know everyone else is alive and well. 

Next thing I remember is waking up to a very bright light and a man asking if I knew what happened. The man informed me that I was in an accident and the ambulance was on its way. I asked him to call my mom and I gave him my home number. My parents arrived on the scene at the same time as the ambulance. I don't remember much during the first few weeks. Throughout that time, I was informed I shattered my C5 vertebrae and was now a quadriplegic. That is how I gained my throne.